As I was launching Love In The Cards: Relationship Readings Made Simple (currently postponed), I opened my question box to ask people what they want to know about interpreting relationship readings.
I had an interesting question:
Can one ask for reading about when marriage will happen through tarot?
There are many layers to this question, and that’s before we even get to the part about the actual tarot spreads and techniques to ask about marriage timing (and not be disappointed by the answers/reality).
Before I start, I am writing this from a biased point of view of a #singleAF person with very little dating experience.
Do I want a Happily Ever After? Yes. Will I work for it? Not now.
Do I know how to maintain a good relationship? Heck no.
Getting to the root of the question
If a client comes to me to ask, “When will I get married?”
Here’s how I’ll break down the session with the client:
Layer 1: What does being married mean to the client?
Layer 2: What stage of dating is the client at?
Layer 3: How willing is the client to change their life to bring in love?
Layer 1: What does being married mean to the client?
I’ll drag my well-meaning mother into this conversation because she’s the one pushing the #GetYQMarried campaign in my life.
From my point of view, she just “wants [me] to be married”.
It doesn’t matter
- if it’s a suitable person (“It’s ok if he’s ugly, he won’t cheat,” said my mother.)
- if I will be happy (“But it’s implied,” she said); or
- if my future spouse will murder me (according to the true crime podcasts I listen to).
From here, it’s important for the client to understand what “being married” means to them.
Does being married mean they
- sign a certificate of marriage with another person?
- are not alone anymore (which means they be happy–quite an assumption)?
- won’t “disappoint” their parents?
- have someone to accompany them in good and bad times no matter how they are as a person (with the subtext that they don’t have to grow or change themselves and the partner will just accept them as they are?)
If the client has a clear understanding of what “being married” means to them–and it’s not some Seven of Cups kind of daydream, then we proceed to Layer 2.
Layer 2: What stage of dating is the client at?
Imagine this, what if I told you that you will meet your future spouse on X date.
And the only person you meet on that day is a food delivery person? (Who might be actually a very good match to you.)
Would you accept this person that’s presented to you by Fate™ or do you want more say in your choice of a partner?
This brings us to: What stage of dating is the client at?
- Is the client single and actively dating (but meeting unsuitable matches)? This is something we can work on with tarot.
- Is the client single and just waiting for a prediction so she can sit out at the front yard for The One to pick her up? (Sorry, a dating agency might be better.)
- Is the client engaged and just waiting to see when she will tie the knot? (I had the “Will I get married?” question from someone who was in this situation so clarify, clarify, clarify.)
- Is the client with a married man and waiting for him to break up with his wife? (My stomach turned when I got this question and I could not accept this client because of my own moral judgement.)
- Is the client open to getting set up by their parents in an arranged marriage? (That’s how people got married in the past and they settled.)
It’s clear which client you’re able to help more, and which you aren’t able to help.
If you tell #2 that they will meet a partner in three months time, what will they do in the meantime to boost their chances? Or they will sit at home and come back to you and complain that no one offered their hand in marriage at the said timing.
Layer 2b: What’s blocking the client from marriage?
Rather than answer Fate™-based questions, it’s easier to dig into what’s stopping the client from being an active part of the marriage equation.
We can ask:
- What’s blocking the client’s romantic life?
- What’s coming in the future in the next three months?
- I like to set a time limit since tarot answers are not permanent.
- (We might see Mr Not Rights in the cards but maybe it’s like a video game where you have to bounce on mushrooms before finding the Princess in the tower?)
- What strengths does the client have to help in their romantic life?
- What person should they look out for?
- What person does the client need to become?
Layer 3: How willing is the client to change their life to bring in love?
Based on my very weak understanding of Chinese astrology, there are certain periods where it’s more favourable for marriage. (Mine only happens at 60+ years old. Cheers!)
Someone I knew who was single said their fortune-teller predicted that they would be married in two years.
Two plus years have passed but no updates on the marriage front.
Was the fortune teller wrong?
Was there a marriageable person that was just blocked by the panini and whom the client have not met?
Was the client even looking; or were they sure that they will have a meet-cute with their future spouse so they don’t have to lift a finger?
So many questions, no actual answer.
Personally, I don’t see tarot as a good tool to “predict when a client will get married”.
For me, tarot’s answers are not so far into the future and have expiration dates.
Separately, I had a session with a client where we worked on their relationship blocks and this wonderful thing happened!
Totally unrelated to any tarot readings: I also know of someone who had to meet many frogs before they met their prince. It’s also a numbers game when it comes to meeting the right one. (There are more than one “right one”.)
Layer 4: Is the client willing to wait for love to come at 55 years old?
The unwritten rules of society say that marriage should happen when the couple is fertile so they can create babies and have a family.
But what if the client is not meant to follow that timeline?
What if marriage only “happens” when they are 55 years old?
Are they OK with that? Or will they marry a rando just so you can tick the marriage box on forms? (And divorce but meet another good person at an older age?)
Sometimes we need to rethink what it is that marriage entails (going back to the questions at the beginning.)
Then, which modality can tell when the client will get married?
I know Western astrology better than Chinese astrology so I can only speak about this.
There are certain transits that signify “a change in relationship”.
But whether this will manifest as a romantic relationship or business relationship is another matter.
Also, even with these transits, if the client had not solved the underlying problems that are stopping them from having fulfilling relationships, they can pass that timing and not be married.
Marriage Tarot Spread
Personally, I don’t use tarot spreads much even for my clients.
But it’s easier to share this as a spread than coming up with customized questions. I pull cards for myself based on this and I’ll interpret them as examples.
Overall, there are no Major Arcana so marriage is only a minor part of the client’s life for now. (It’s up to the client to decide if they want to be more active or less active.)
What’s my view of marriage? Ace of Swords
There’s a need to really cut through the traditional ideas of marriage and come up with a new idea that fits my own idea of what marriage is.
Also, there could be arguments or sharing of new ideas involved when it comes to marriage.
What’s blocking me? King of Cups
(Based on my own readings, this refers to a person in my life but if I were reading for a client, here’s my interpretation.)
There’s a lot of “holding in” of emotions to give the impression of someone who’s emotionally mature.
How can I improve my love life? Ace of Wands
Bring more fire and excitement into your life! With the previous King of Cups, your relationships have been driven by emotions and less about passion. It’s time to add more spice to your life.
What do I bring to the table? Three of Wands
You’re someone who has big plans for the future and you have the methods to make things happen. You’re not just someone who talks about ideas but you have ways of making it into reality–though it does take time before the fruits are ripe.
What sort of person is suitable? Four of Cups
(I don’t really like this card for this question. It seems less about the potential partner but more about the client–aka me.)
You’re still not sure about what you like. So much so that even if they are right in front of you, you wouldn’t know.
Really sit down and ask yourself what you need from a relationship. (And not outsource it to tarot cards.)
What’s the likelihood of marriage in the next 1 year?
Positive: Five of Cups
Negative: Six of Wands
I like using comparisons for Yes/No questions. Based on these two cards, “No” is more likely.
If you were to end up in marriage, this would be something that’s more scarcity mindset based. You might also end up with someone who will bring you down and end up poor and helpless.
You’re not likely to get married within the year, but the good news is that you’re able to achieve wins in other areas of your life. You might want to focus on that more than chasing after fruitless romances.
In the comments, let me know your thoughts on asking about marriage and tarot! Or DM me on Instagram @yqmagic.
You might also like: “Relationship Tarot Spread for feelings between two people“
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